It doesn’t matter whether you are playing or watching, we think that football is better than sex and, with our special infographic, we give you ten cheeky reasons why.
1. The excitement lasts - With non-stop entertainment right through to the final whistle, a football match has the potential to keep a smile on your face for much longer than sex.
2. It’s less complicated - Football might not be completely simple but, with a limited number of positions on the pitch, it is much easier to take in than the full range of the kama sutra. If that isn’t enough, it is also less likely to cause you an injury when you try out a new position!
3. Your friends can be involved - Inviting your mates round to watch the game is likely to make the whole experience better and will never cause any complaints. Do the same for sex and someone is likely to get upset at some point.
4. No uncomfortable goodbyes - Once a game finishes you have two choices: go to the pub or go home. With sex there are far more possibilities and much greater potential for problems.
5. Football helps your finances - It’s not exactly cheap to buy yourself a ticket for a football game and the cost goes up when you add in the cost of a pie and pint. However, it is nothing compared to the price of dating and so, if given a choice, your bank manager will probably suggest you go with football.
6. Away from home - You always have away games to enjoy when you’re a football fan and, more importantly, your football team won’t get jealous if you watch another team. Try the same with your significant other and you’re going to be in lots of trouble.
7. It keeps you trim - Both activities will burn calories but you’d have to be more prolific than Casanova to match the workout you get from a single game of football.
8. You know where you stand (or sit) - It’s nice and simple when you watch football: buy your ticket and then sit in your designated seat. If only it were so easy when it comes to sex and relationships.
9. The beautiful game - A football match really is something magnificent to behold, hence why it is called “the beautiful game”. However, take a look to your side when you wake up in the morning and you might have a different way to describe your date from the night before.
10. Few, if any, children will be conceived during England’s matches in Brazil in 2014 - no sleepless nights, no smelly nappies … enough said?
There are plenty more reasons why football beats sex and these are just a beginning. Whichever you choose, though, they are both lots of fun and sure to bring you plenty of joy in this World Cup year!